If you watched the finale of Top Chef, you’re probably thinking the same thing I am: What the heck is Marcel growing on his face? Unfortunately, there appears to be no explanation forthcoming. My trusty assistant put forth the supposition that he was tired of looking like a 17-year old pixie, but vaguely evil elf is not an improvement. Also, note to Padma: please stop dressing like a 1984 bridesmaid, I liked it better when you were skankzilla.

Oh, and also there was some cooking.

I gotta say, I think the season three contestants were unfairly messed with. In season 1, it was a no holds barred cook off. No restrictions, loads of time to prep and a beautiful restaurant to work in, the only requirement was incorporating some of Lorraine Bracco’s wines, so that she could get nice and toasted during the judging. In season 2, the only complication they had to deal with was a bit of humidity, and things were pretty much the same, they could do whatever they wanted.

So why does Season 3 get the short end of the stick? They have to contend with an extra finalist to go up against, cooking at high altitude, a limited stock of food, and the sudden addition of a fourth course an hour before time is up. I know that competition is fierce, but sheesh, that seems excessive.

Still, the three of them all performed with style. I feel like Casey would have been a stronger contender if the time pressure had not been such an issue, she was clearly flustered. By the time they made it to the live announcement, she seemed to have accepted that the prize wasn’t hers and was very gracious about the whole thing. Everyone likes a good loser.

Speaking of the live announcement, ouch. It must have been at least a day from the service to the announcement in Chicago, and some of the things the contestants said suggested it was more like a couple of days. Way to leave them hanging! Also, I know it’s a big deal to have a live announcement, but all those cuts to Padma in Chicago throughout the show just seemed excessive. The whole thing reminded me of a joke from West Wing, when Bartlett criticizes a speech written for him, “could we not use the word live three times in a sentence, like we just cracked the technology?” Also, for those of us on the west coast, the live announcement just didn’t seem that exciting.

So, Hung is the third crowned, which no doubt has many fans angry, though it seemed like his performance was exceptional. He was a spectacular jerk, and while I agree with his supporters, who note that it is a competition, there’s still such a thing as being a good sport, which he definitely wasn’t. The Bravo people knew what they were doing though, the season was more entertaining with him in it. Much like Marcel, he was enough of a jerk to be outrageous and empathetic enough that you didn’t just want him to go the hell away.

It’s hard to imagine what they’ll cook up for the chef’s next year. Cooking blindfolded? Making a meal out of nothing but bubble gum? One thing’s for sure, it’ll be brought to you by the Glad family of products, in the Kenmore kitchen, served on Chinet with recipes inspired by T.G.I. Fridays.

Novice cooks get screwed. There are cooking basics that no one remembers to teach you. A good cookbook will tell you how to test a meat for doneness, plenty of them will even tell you how to boil an egg, and some will even guide you through the process of setting a banquet table (thanks, Joy Of Cooking!). All that is great, but there are still plenty of things they don’t tell you. Like, for example, what ingredients you should always have on hand.

It’s not as obvious as you’d think, and especially if you grew up in a house that didn’t do a lot of cooking from scratch, it can be a pretty daunting question. If you’re moving out on your own, or getting started as a cook, there are some basic ingredients you want in your pantry. This isn’t an exhaustive list of everything that’s good to have on hand, but it is the essentials.

Here’s what you need, and why you need it:

Dry Goods

Flour: Well, this is obvious. Aside from baking, flour is also useful as a thickening agent for sauces. You want regular, All-Purpose flour; other speciality flours are best purchased when you’ll need them for specific recipes. Store in a cool, dark location in a sealed container, ditch the paper bag your flour came in and invest in a canister.

Double Acting Baking Powder: A leavening agent that won’t see much use if you don’t bake, however it almost never spoils and if you do any baking you should have it on hand. You can keep it in that cute little canister it comes in.

Baking Soda: Another leavening agent. Comes in that iconic yellow box, and you can leave it in there in a cool, dry place. Note: Baking Powder is Baking Soda plus a base, they’re not the same thing and you cannot substitute one for the other blindly.

Cornstarch: Used as a thickener in a lot of recipes, and as a binding agent in puddings, also useful for mixing with water to entertain your kids. Store in a cool, dry place but you can leave it in the box.

Pasta: Keep a package of spaghetti and a package of penne, rotini or some other dry pasta on hand, they keep for a long time and with just a couple of ingredients you can put together a delicious meal.

Cornmeal: Of course, most famously this is used for cornbread, but it has plenty of other applications. Keep it around.

Spices and Herbs

It’s always great to have fresh herbs when you can, but there are some basic dried things you should always have on hand. Later, I’ll be doing detailed explorations of your spice cabinet and its inhabitants, but for now, here’s a list of the bare minimum you should have on hand.

Basil
Cayenne Pepper
Chili Powder
Cinnamon
Crushed Red Pepper
Cumin
Garlic Powder
Mustard Powder
Nutmeg
Oregano (leaf, not ground)
Paprika
Pepper
Rosemary
Sage
Salt
Thyme

A note on salt and pepper. Go ahead and get a pepper grinder, even if it’s just the cheap ones they sell at the grocery store, the difference is worth the added effort. As for salt, you’ll probably want to have two kinds on hand. The regular, iodized table salt that you’re used to, and sea salt or kosher salt.

Sweeteners

Yeah, what can I explain, they sweeten things.

Granulated White Sugar: Again, obvious, this is the sweet stuff. Store in a canister similar to the one you got for your flour.

Brown Sugar: Get Dark Brown Sugar, it’s called for more often than light, and you can fake light brown sugar by combining two thirds dark and one third white sugar. Store in an airtight container with a piece of bread to maintain moisture levels.

Honey: There are many kinds of honey, and if you’re making a dish that features honey, I urge you to go out and get the fresh stuff, but for basic sweetening in baking and cooking, that stuff that you get in the supermarket is fine. Honey never goes bad, if it crystallizes just put the container in hot water for a while and it will go back to its golden, liquidy state.

Light Corn Syrup: This is one of those items that’s far less critical if you don’t plan to do much baking and dessert making. If you don’t have a sweet tooth, you can leave it off.

Molasses: Good for baking but also a must for many barbecue sauces and other dishes as well.

Vanilla Extract: Okay, this is more of a flavorer than a sweetener, gimme a break, I didn’t have anywhere else to put it. There are many, many other extracts available, but vanilla is the one used most often. Also, pay the extra buck for the real stuff, please.

So, those are the bare basics that you should have on hand. We’ll explore ingredients far behind the basics as we continue, but if you’re just starting out, well, this is a good place to start.